Successfully Dealing with Singlehood During the Holidays
Updated: Friday, November 15 2013, 06:08 AM EST
"The most wonderful time of the year" can be tough if you're single. Author and relationship expert, Charles Johnson, joined News 13 This Morning with reasons why the holidays can actually be a great time to find someone.
Data researchers David McCandless and Lee Byron found that breakups peak in the month of December, two weeks before Christmas and for many people this means being alone during the holidays. Although this may sound like bad news, the good news is that breakup season produces a higher number of singles on the market, which makes it the best time to be single, and on the hunt to find the "right" one.
Here are the 4 ways you can make the most wonderful time of year the most wonderful time to find the right one.
Surround yourself with positive people.
Some of us have the tendency to dwell on the past and seek advice from other single friends about what could have been; should have been; would have been. But the more you talk about it - the more you'll think about it. And if you're getting advice from someone who's also single, chances are their advice isn't any good. Rather than hanging out with your single friends who want to vent about "there's no good woman, there's no good man," be conscious of the people you surround yourself with and spend time with positive people, who want to look good, do good and partake in fun activities.
Make plans and stick to them.
Typically people spend the holidays reflecting and that tends to leave most single people in a funk. Being wrapped up in thoughts about all the things that went wrong in your last relationship is not the way to spend the holidays. This is the time of year when your odds are the greatest, but you have got to put a little extra effort into finding a mate. Make plans to go out. Set a date and stick to it. Join a meetup group, go out with friends, or pick up a new hobby that will expose you to new people, in turn increasing your chances of meeting new prospects. For example, dancing, sports, adult classes.
Avoid family interrogations at all costs
During family gatherings almost everyone wants to know about your relationship status and if you are single you might as well be under a spotlight. The dating scene is tough enough. Being probed by the people you love can be hurtful and can create additional tension and unnecessary self-doubt. Avoid those conversations at all costs. Use phrases like, "I prefer not to talk about this today, let's focus on the family." Protect yourself and your heart by simply excusing yourself from any topics involving your singlehood.
Adjust your Attitude
Being single is not a disease but it is status that you would like to change. Understand that meeting someone is going to take some real effort. You will have to go to new places to meet new faces. If you catch yourself on the couch or going to bed extra early, you're not taking the necessary actions to put you on the path to finding the right one. You will have to upgrade your wardrobe, wear nice clothing, high heels, makeup, ties, blazers, etc. But looking the part is not good enough. You will also have to adjust your attitude. Stop wearing your last breakup on your face; it will only turn off the beautiful woman or handsome man across the room. Smile and be pleasant to increase your chances of being approached by the person who just might end up being your soul mate.
Johnson also discussed tips for those in a relationship around the holidays. Four ways to stress-proof your relationship during the holidays include:
Pick a day and make it extra special for your partner.
Be fair with family/friends.
Plan a "do nothing" day.
Do something to make your partner's life a little easier.
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